watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is Oprah even human
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
