blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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