how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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