Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
