We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
