What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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