"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
