No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
