Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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