Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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