but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize