there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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