Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
