Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
