how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
