his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize