Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
