Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
