White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
