My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
