Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
