Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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