At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
