So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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