is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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