So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
