my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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