im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
