She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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