Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
