i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
