Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
