Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
