people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
