I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
high people should be assigned attendants
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
