i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
