ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
