dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
