theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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