some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
