just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
