So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
