going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
