After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
