Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
