I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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