Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
