i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
