you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
