piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I stole a fireplace last night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
