Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
