If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
