There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's rum buckets o'clock
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize