On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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