It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
