yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
