So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
