we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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