I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
