Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
