he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
