I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
