3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
